Long before I dove headfirst into the world of lingerie design (about 18 years ago, to be exact), I stumbled into a sensual boutique called The Bedroom. Me, a wide-eyed, totally-not-blushing 25-year-old, sneaking into a lavishly curated space dedicated to women’s pleasure aiming to tantalize your senses from the moment you enter the shop. I felt like I was committing a crime just walking in. But, I wasn’t alone and my darling friend Taryn, the corruptor that she is, lured me in with the promise of pudding after I braved this scary space.
I know it seems trivial now, in a world where humans are so desensitized through over-exposure that our emotional intelligence declines a little more each day, but it was kinda a big deal back then.
Don’t get me wrong—I wasn’t that innocent (let’s be real, I knew my way around a Cosmo magazine), but actual conversations…with another human…about sexual health and pleasure? Gasp! I was too much of a proud prude to embark on that yellow brick road to Wonderland. The 90s didn’t exactly prepare us for that, unless you count a high school biology class, Sex and the City, and the occasional Red Shoe Diaries episode that I totally wasn’t watching with the volume turned down after 10 pm.
This boutique changed everything. It was built for women, by women, with cozy nooks for exploration, zero judgment, and a strict “no men allowed unless by appointment” policy. The saleswomen weren’t just helpful; they were sex-ed superheroes. Their knowledge—and their ability to talk about vibrators without whispering—blew my mind.
That visit wasn’t just an eye-opener; it was the spark that led me to design lingerie and novelty clothing for the boutique. But, what fascinated me more than the lace and latex was the women—the ones who walked in shy, hesitant, and utterly embarrassed, only to reveal a much deeper issue: discomfort in the bedroom, lack of pleasure, and an overall disconnection from their sensual selves.
As I learned more, a pattern emerged. The women struggling the most with confidence—those unable to talk about their desires, who giggled awkwardly when asked what they liked—were also the ones who admitted to faking orgasms or accepting subpar, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am encounters. Their husbands likely thought that everything they did was good enough, and that’s not even their fault. Ladies, if you want to grow and get the big “O” then you need to use your words.
So that got me thinking: How much does a healthy sex life impact our confidence and overall well-being? Spoiler alert: A lot.
What Is Sexual Health for Women?
Sexual health isn’t just about getting regular check-ups and avoiding awkward conversations at the gynecologist (you know what position you’re sitting in during those). It’s about pleasure, confidence, self-care, and understanding your body without shame. You should be aware that your body isn’t just a machine—it’s an experience. And you? You’re the VIP guest.
How Sexual Health Affects Our Well-Being
Ever notice how a great orgasm can leave you feeling like a glowing goddess, while a meh experience makes you question your life choices? That’s because sexual health is intricately linked to mental health, self-esteem, and body confidence.
1. The Mental Health Connection
- A satisfying sex life boosts dopamine and oxytocin—nature’s happy drugs.
- Lack of pleasure can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression.
- A healthy sex life reduces cortisol levels (bye-bye, tension!).
2. Body Confidence and Self-Esteem
- Women who feel good in their bodies are more likely to enjoy intimacy.
- Seeing yourself as sensual (whether in lingerie or naked and thriving) rewires your brain for confidence.
- Confidence in the bedroom translates into confidence everywhere else.
3. Societal Pressures and the “Empowered Woman” Myth
I love body positivity as much as the next person, but let’s be real—there’s a fine line between sexual empowerment and overexposure in the name of feminism. Owning your sexuality doesn’t mean giving it away freely. It means knowing what makes you feel good—not just for someone else’s gaze, but for you.
How to Build Confidence by Tapping Into Your Sensuality
Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or just figuring yourself out (no rush, sis!), reconnecting with your sensual self is a game-changer. Here are a few ways to start:
🔥 1. Dress for Yourself, Not the Male Gaze
- Wear lingerie just because it makes you feel sexy.
- Try fabrics that feel amazing on your skin—silk, lace, satin.
- Walk around naked at home (seriously, try it).
🎶 2. Create a “Main Character” Playlist (Like Ally Mac Beal style, what’s your anthem song this month?)
- Put on songs that make you feel like a goddess.
- Dance around like nobody’s watching (unless they’re invited).
- Confidence starts with how you see yourself.
🛀 3. Self-Care Isn’t Just Face Masks—It’s Also…
- Exploring your own pleasure (you can’t teach what you don’t know).
- Investing in quality lingerie or nothing at all (your choice).
- Taking sensual baths with oils, candles, and zero guilt.
🔄 4. Break the “Good Girl” Conditioning
- Stop apologizing for having needs (you’re not “demanding,” you’re deserving).
- Say what you want in the bedroom—out loud (yes, with words, or interpretive dance if you think you can pull it off).
- Ditch partners who don’t prioritize your pleasure (we’re not in 1950, ladies. He can’t expect you to be a giver and not a receiver too).
The Importance of Self-Care and Check-Ups
Sexual health is just as important as any other aspect of well-being. That means:
✅ Regular gynecological check-ups (yes, even if you’re not sexually active, that’s a topic for another post).
✅ Understanding your hormones and how they affect your libido.
✅ Checking in with yourself: Do I feel connected to my body? Do I enjoy intimacy? Don’t let those pesky thought spirals deprive you of pleasure in present time. Be in the moment when you are exploring yourself
And if the answer is no, babe, it’s time for some changes.
Breaking the Stigma (Because, Seriously, It’s 2025)
We’re still whispering about women’s pleasure while men’s sexual health is a multi-billion-dollar industry (hello, Viagra ads everywhere). It’s time to normalize open conversations, demand sexual wellness products that actually cater to us, and stop pretending we don’t have needs.
Because let’s face it—women who own their sensuality aren’t just sexier. They’re unstoppable. And yes, I mean unstoppable in the boardroom too. Sexual confidence gives you an upper hand in a male-dominated world.
Final Thoughts: Find Your Oh! Moment
So, what’s the takeaway here? Sexual health isn’t just about sex—it’s about you. It’s about discovering what makes you feel alive, empowered, and damn good in your own skin.
Because the real glow-up starts within.
💋 Now go forth, explore, and remember: You deserve to feel amazing.
Need Help? We're Here for you 💕